


"Friends"

by Cat (ActualBuckyBarnes)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Coming Out, Dances, Floof, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, Tyler Oakley Is Awesome, fem!Jack because goddammit i needed a single straight couple in this whole thing, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 07:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8003929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActualBuckyBarnes/pseuds/Cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Friends: (n) not something Dan Howell has.</p><p>Dan's clique is composed of four girls, each more catty and annoying than the last. Dan isn't even sure why he's friends with them- or how he became friends with them- and yet, they manipulate and control his every move when he's hanging out with them.</p><p>His cries of attention go out to his boyfriend of three years: Philip Michael Lester. Unfortunately, this is also the guy that his "friends" have been pining after for a year and a half. His Uni enrollment depends on his parents' tuition- which depends on him having these so-called friends.</p><p>So how is the great Dan Howell going to get out of this one?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Casey he'd been friends with since grade school. She used to be so nice; Dan wondered what happened to her. Now, instead of baseball caps and looking at the stars, she dressed in too-tight clothes and held Dan on a very, very, _very_ short leash.

"Howell!" She crowed into his phone- at seven in the _fucking_ morning. Dan groaned and sat up.

"What now?" He sighed.

"We're going to get coffee. You're coming with- hopefully we'll see that Phil guy!" Casey said, straightening her hair out. Dan was just plain too lazy to do that today, and decided on black skinny jeans and a _BBC Sherlock_ hoodie.

Dan sighed again and decided to text _That Phil Guy_ , aka, Dan's long-term boyfriend.

_the wolves are on the hunt again, watch your six_

_**okay, if you're talking about you 'friends', can you stop talking in code** _

_no._

_**you are ridiculous** _

_you love me_ , Dan grinned as he and Phil teased each other. Say what you will about Dan's manipulative friend group, Dan's romantic relationship was completely healthy.

 _yeah_ , Phil was beaming down at his own phone, and his roommate, Mark, was being annoying about it.

"Aw, is that your _boyfriend_?" Mark said, almost-laughing.

"No-"

"What're you talking about?" Mark asked, pretending to be interested.

"Fuck off, Mark," Phil rolled his eyes. Mark tried to grab Phil's phone away from him, but Phil held it above his head.

"Not fair," Mark pouted, before jumping up to grab it. Although Mark was almost a head shorter than Phil, he was more muscular and actually went out and exercised, so he grabbed the device easily.

Mark cooed over the conversation Phil had had with Dan, "You two are adorable."

"Give me back my phone!" Phil said, almost not caring any more and sitting back down on the couch, lazily reaching out for his cell.

"Fine," Mark said, "I'm going running."

"Bye," Phil said as Mark put in his earbuds and put on his shoes. Mark left already jogging, and Phil got up and walked to the coffee shop. The college campus they were on was rather small, but it did have a convenience store close by and a coffee shop on the grounds, although the single coffee shop gave it a few... er... _problems_.

"Phil!" The 24-year-old groaned in his head as he turned around with a smile plastered on his face.

"Oh my God, Phil, you'll never guess what happened yesterday..." Abby started to speak, the other three girls surrounding him and Dan standing a little ways off.

Dan mouthed _Sorry_ , at Phil, and Phil shrugged back at him. Phil understood Dan's situation- his dad wanted Dan to have friends, to the point of forcing the socially-awkward teen Dan used to be to make friends and keep them, saying that if he didn't, his dad would withdraw his tuition money. He did it out of concern, although it seemed as if he was merely trying to get Dan to make connections that would make Dan money, i.e., setting him up with Casey, Abby, Carolyn, and Vivian.

"Dan!" Phil decided he'd had enough of Dan's friends- _after all, who says he can't just greet his friend?_ Phil rationalized.

"Missed you," Phil whispered in Dan's ear, "You should come to my flat tonight. Mark's out, we could watch a movie."

"Sounds great!" Dan said, "Watch your back."

"Phil, we were talking to you, silly!" Vivian said flirtatiously. Phil nearly winced as the four started yammering away again. Goddamn, he'd give anything to be back at the flat with his annoying roommate, or his friend Tyler, or even his older brother Martyn. He was really starting to miss summer at his parents'.

"So, Phil, got a date for the fall formal?" Abby asked.

"Er... uh... Yes?" Phil actually did wince this time.

"Who is she?!" Carolyn screeched, "I'll beat the shit out of her!"

"Uh- bye- Mark- strained ankle-" Phil said, making up a half-assed excuse and bolting.

"Nice," Dan rolled his eyes.

"I suggest you shut your mouth, you dickhead," Vivian snarled, "You were the one who started talking to him- dragging him away from us."

"Yeah, I gotta go too," Dan said, as he knew that if Mark was leaving the flat, he'd probably be gone all day.

"Don't you dare!" Casey said, narrowing her eyes, "We'll break ties, and I'm not sure how well that'll go over with your dad."

"Fine." Dan sighed- and that's the story of how he spent the next seven hours at JC Penny's.

Seven. Hours.

Dan hated his life.

"You're free," Abby said, and Dan dashed off- he was already mostly late for Phil's.

"Wonder where he's going?" Carolyn asked to nobody in particular.

.o0o.

Dan arrived to Phil pacing, a movie's main menu sequence on in the background.

"Sorry I'm late, the girls kept me a bit tied up," Dan said. Phil immediately surged forward and peppered Dan's face with kisses.

"Y'know, if you'd just meet with Tyler-"

"I can't," Dan looked pained, "They're like fucking _sharks_ , Phil. I can't escape them."

"You should get new friends, I'm worried about you." Phil frowned.

"Don't be," Dan said, curling into Phil's embrace. The two moved to the couch and Phil pressed play, and _Captain America: the Winter Soldier_ played in the background.

"I- I can't do this any more," Phil said suddenly, "I have to give you an ultimatum. Dan, I know how much is riding on this tuition money, but I can't deal with seeing you this stressed and unhappy." Phil stood up, and Dan nearly whimpered at how cold he was all of a sudden.

"Either you talk to Tyler, or Troye, or Mark, or _someone_ and get new friends, or I'm going to have to break things off," Phil said, tearing up. Dan was nearly crying too at this point.

"I'm concerned about you, sweetheart, I can't see you go down this path. Your friends are abusive and manipulative, and I can't handle seeing you be so unhappy," Tears had begun falling already.

"I'll do it," Dan said softly, "I'll do it if it means I can stay with you- Phil, I couldn't handle not dating you and being friends with _them_.

"Thank you," Phil said, stepping in to give Dan a hug and wipe the tears from his face.

"So, about Tyler-"

"Maybe tomorrow," Phil winked, kissing Dan on the lips again. With their argument decidedly in the past, the two decided to have a little fun.

There was three days until the fall formal.

.o0o.

"Hey, Tyler, Dan- you remember my boyfriend Dan, right?- needs someone to talk to, you up for it?" Tyler turned off his phone at the voicemail and hopped on his bike.

.o0o.

"Tyler to the rescue!" Tyler nearly screeched as he entered Phil's flat. Without knocking.

"Shit-"

"Tyler-"

"Sorry!" Tyler apologized, hands covering his mouth. Dan and Phil untangled themselves and both returned their shirts to their original owners.

" _Anyway_ , you can look now, Dan's friends have been abusing and manipulating him for the past, wait-"

"Five years, to be exact," Dan frowned. It was weird to think of his friends as abusive or manipulative.

"Thank you," Phil pecked Dan's cheek, "And his dad was worried about him making friends, so him having friends is what his tuition money depends on. And you're pretty friendly, so I decided why not?"

"Oh, thank God. I thought this was about psychology. I was going to remind you that Connor's the psych major, not me," Tyler grinned, extending his hand for Dan to shake, "Tyler Oakley. Communications."

"Uh- Dan Howell. Law."

"I know your name- Phil doesn't shut up about you!" Tyler said, "To be fair, when his roommate had a girlfriend, Mark wouldn't shut up about her either." He added in retrospect.

"Really, now?" Dan looked over at Phil and grinned, squeezing his hand, "He wouldn't shut up about me?"

"Nope," Tyler looked between the two of them, "And I think I might throw up, this is so adorable."

"Oh, like your crush on Troye is any better." Phil rolled his eyes.

"Troye- what- no?!" Tyler blushed really easily, Dan noticed.

"See, you'll be best friends. Let's go out." Phil said, "You can wear some of my clothes- perks of being a gay couple."

"Will your stuff even fit me?" Dan asked. Phil shrugged, and Dan supposed it was better than nothing.

.o0o.

As it turns out, Phil's sweater was a bit baggy on Dan, but it was sweater season, and the sweater smelled like Phil, and Dan wasn't ever going to take it off every again. Phil had a few pair of jeans that were just a bit too tight on him that fit Dan perfectly, so he wore those too.

"One venti espresso-" Tyler droned on for a while about his order, and Dan and Phil just got pumpkin spice lattes.

"Dan!" Vivian greeted, followed by the Herd.

"Viv!" Dan's smile grew tired and he shifted away from Phil a tiny amount.

"You went out _without us_?" Vivian mock-gasped, "Looks like we're gonna have to have a talk with your father-"

"No, please!" Dan begged, and Tyler's eyes widened. He hadn't ever known the extent to which they were manipulating Dan.

The fall formal was in two days.

.o0o.

Phil was the one to ask Dan, in the quiet darkness of Phil's bedroom.

"Yes," Dan whispered back, and they heard Mark wooping.

"Shut it, assbag!" Dan yelled, kissing Phil's neck.

The fall formal was in fourteen hours.

.o0o.

Dan and Phil did not order tuxedos (who the fuck could afford one, this is college we're talking about. Half of their money went to loans and the other half to food and caffeine.).

"Let's go," Dan said, kissing Phil. Mark had gotten a cute girl to go with him (Jacqueline? Jac? Something like that?), who had blinding blue eyes and odd grey-ish hair.

"Selfies!" Mark exclaimed, making duck lips at the camera. Jac glared at him.

"Is he doing that ironically?" Dan asked, obviously very concerned.

"Honestly, nobody knows," Phil sighed as the four set off to the cafeteria.

.o0o.

The fall formal was about as fancy as you'd expect (as in, literally nobody was wearing anything fancy, three people were wearing sweatpants), and it had almost no theme whatsoever- which was ironic, considering that it was a fall 'formal'.

"Dan! You made it! Who'd you come with?" Casey asked, before spotting Phil, who was off getting the two some punch that had been spiked with alcohol.

"Aw, did you get me punch?" Casey asked, grabbing the cup out of Phil's hand and downing it in one swig.

"No," Phil glared quite pointedly, and Casey's face fell, and she turned on Dan.

"Dan? What's going on?" She growled. Dan took a deep breath and closed his eyes for three seconds before sliding up next to Phil, who lifted Dan's hand to his mouth.

"Dan!" Casey screamed, and as if it were a summoning spell, all three girls were suddenly _there_.

"Oh, we're definitely telling your father." Vivian said, as if Dan hadn't been mentally preparing himself for that line all night. It still hurt, though.

"Dan, don't worry, you'll get through this," Phil murmured sweet things in Dan's ear until the girls each huffed- almost identically, it would've been hilarious in any other circumstance- and stormed away.

"I think I'm done for the night," Dan felt humiliated to have to call it in so early, but Phil just kissed the space behind his ear and the two walked through the doorway.

"I'm proud of you," Phil said as Dan left the building.

"Thank you," Dan said, smiling brightly at Phil.

"Your dimples are adorable," Phil said, spotting them in the dying sunlight.

"You're adorable," Dan said in reply, standing closer to Phil to avoid the cool wind.

Their lips met in a kiss that lasted much too long, and yet, not nearly long enough.

They walked away that night knowing that everything would be different- and yet, everything would be all right.


	2. "Family"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I simply could not leave this alone. I HAVE ANOTHER FIC I SHOULD BE WORKING ON I SWEAR I'M SORRY.
> 
> so... this one's a bit more intense than the last one and i've had to bump the rating up for the swear words (soz). there's one scene that borders on non-con (there's non-consensual kissing), but I'll put bold dashes as a warning for that so you can skip over it. There's also a homophobic slur that I'll put bold dashes on too if that bugs you. Also slight warning for asshole parent.

A week.

That's how long the peace lasted. Dan would've called his dad, but schoolwork was piling up and Tyler was an attention _whore_ and Phil was rather... distracting. That's the word we'll use.

Mark and Dan had grown close, and Jac painted Dan's nails sometimes, and Troye had agreed to help Dan re-learn piano.

Dan was finally free to be who he wanted to be. For a week.

.o0o.

"Daniel," Dan's father said when Dan picked up his phone, suddenly panicking. _Oh God I've forgotten to call him and tell him and he's going to pull my tuition money and I'm not going to be able to complete my Law degree_ -

Phil ran his hand over Dan's shoulders, relaxing them and pressing feather-light kisses to Dan's shoulders, saying _everything is going to be fine_ without even talking.

"I'm hearing from your friends-"

"My old friends," Dan explained, "Were manipulative assholes. I've got new friends, don't worry. I've got a partner, too!"

"Oh? Who is she? Who are your friends? When can I meet them?" Dan knew his father meant well. He really did. But sometimes Dan's dad was a bit overwhelming.

"Uh- how's next Sunday?" Dan winced.

"Sure!" Dan's dad said cheerily, "Your mum's going to be so glad to meet your girlfriend!"

Assumptions suck.

"Sounds nice!" Dan was dreading it already, even after he forced the words out of his mouth.

Phil wrapped Dan in a hug and pressed another kiss to his neck, and Dan felt himself relax and let out a breath.

Dan's dad hung up.

Phil turned Dan around and kissed him on the lips.

"You were so brave," Phil said, "I think you deserve a hearty reward for that."

"That sounds like a cereal branding," Dan snickered, "Get your daily dose of Wheaties, because bravery deserves a hearty reward!"

Phil dissolved into giggled along with Dan, the said, "Well, I was talking about a blowjob, but-"

"Wow, so much better than cereal," Dan laughed as Phil kissed lower on his neck.

.o0o.

After the two had had their fun, they decided to call their friends.

"Hey, Tyler, are you free next weekend?" Dan asked as Phil yelled through the wall to Mark and Jac. Thankfully, it seemed as though all three were available, although Troye had some cool recording thing going on, so he couldn't.

Dan was going to enjoy his last few weeks of certainty here as much as he possibly could, dammit.

And Phil and Tyler were all for that. Unfortunately, the four girls who now considered Dan a traitor were not.

.o0o.

The girls had originally just ignored Dan during the first week, which had been _incredible_. Unfortunately, they had noticed that Dan thought it was incredible, so of course during the second week they made it their personal mission to attack Dan and his friends.

**\---------------**

On day one- Monday- Tyler woke up with the word _Fag_ drawn on his door in Sharpie multiple times, and had nearly broken down over it. Scratch that, he'd sulked in Dan's arms for an hour after crying for a bit. Troye still had that recording-thing, so he couldn't even be there for Tyler. That is, until five o'clock.

**\---------------**

.o0o.

Day two, they'd decided to attack Dan for his decision to wear nail polish outside.

He just wanted coffee.

Connor was there, though, so the psych major had squared his shoulder and interrupted the girls' cat-calls to show off his own painted nails. Joey Graceffa, who Dan hadn't even known, gladly joined in. And that's how the three of them had scalding hot coffee thrown at them all within the span of thirty seconds.

Phil had been _pissed_.

"Nobody deserves that!" Phil was practically steaming at the ears.

"Phil- Phil it's fine-"

"No, Dan! It's not fine! How could they do such horrible things to you and then get angry when you left them?! Why are you still defending them?!" Phil argued, face softening when he saw Dan was nearly terrified. It was rare that Phil got truly angry, but when he did, _my God_ did it feel like Zeus himself was about to rain down his wrath upon the innocent.

"I'm sorry, Dan, none of this is your fault," Phil said, suddenly comforting, reminded rather abruptly that they call it a traumatic experience to have abusive friends for a reason. That reason being that Dan still stalled out when presented with choices and that Dan felt the need to compulsively lie about what he was doing when he was with Phil to Mark and Tyler and Jac and Troye.

Dan was shaking. Phil realized he was shaking and pulled Dan into his chest, rocking back and forth until Dan was nearly purring into Phil's chest.

"I'm so scared," Dan said, "What if he doesn't like you? What if he says we can't meet any more? What if he rejects my sexuality? What if-"

"Dan, it's out of our hands right now," Phil sighed, "And as frustrated as I get over him, or these girls, or anything, ever, know that I am never angry at you."

"Thank you," Dan said, relieved. Dan burrowed deeper into Phil's chest and the two kissed deeply.

.o0o.

Day three was almost quiet on the Girls front. Until, that is, Jac came in.

"They- they-" She said, Irish accent shaking as Mark pulled her into a hug. Really, Mark was the emotional one in this relationship, so she didn't actually cry, she just accepted Mark's hug. She just took deep breaths and didn't bother to explain to them what had happened.

"That's it, I'm done." Phil snarled, picking up his jacket and tugging it onto his shoulders, and marching out of the flat in his Cookie Monster pajama pants.

Phil arrived at the girls' flat and nearly knocked over the door in knocking on it.

"Someone's eager to see us," Vivian was the first one to open the door, immediately flirting with Phil.

"Not today, asshat," Phil said, still endlessly irritated. He barged past Vivian, and was, for once, grateful that Mark had talked him into going to the gym once or twice.

"Alright! Listen up, I know you guys are disappointed that Dan won't come to your playdates anymore or whatever-"

"He betrayed our trust," Carolyn defended them, all four bristling, and Carolyn downed her beer.

"That's not an excuse for what you've done to my friends!" Phil shouted, "I'm not even sure what you've done to Jac, but what you did to Tyler and Dan and Connor and Joey is unacceptable!"

"All right, we might've gone _a bit too far_ -"

"A bit!" Phil was so angry he was nearly screaming. The girls were, quite honestly, terrified.

"You made fun of my boyfriend and two of my closest friends and I cannot begin to describe how low you four have gone to have to make fun of the people I love," Phil narrowed his eyes, "And why would you do that? You're mad because you don't have any more chances with me? You're jealous of Dan? You're angry at _me_ for taking away your friend?" The four girls looked petrified, "Because I think it's none of those. I think you're angry because you don't have your little puppet on strings made of money for you to control any longer-"

"Get out of our house!" Abby demanded, "You can't just... invade our space and demand we apologize, or whatever!" She got up into Phil's personal space and her voice dropped and Phil was really uncomfortable with her in his bubble like that, "Although, those pajamas are pretty hot- I'm sure they'd look better on the floor of my room."

"I'm angry at you for making fun of my boyfriend, who I love very dearly, and you're still trying to get into my pants?" Phil exclaimed, shocked, "Wow, and I thought writing homophobic slurs on Tyler's door was the worst you could do." Phil said, storming back out and into the chilly fall air, wrapping his jacket around himself even tighter, shivering.

"Phil," One of them called after him, and Phil started to run, making it three blocks and almost to his and Mark's flat when he tripped and skinned his knee. Damn his clumsiness.

"Oh my God you guys he's hurt!" Abby squealed, rushing to Phil's aid. Phil's eyes grew wide and... _damn, he was not used to being vulnerable_ \- Phil's mind was racing with those thoughts and panic- but mostly panic- and he scurried backwards as the four girls slowly crept forwards. Honestly, it was like a scene out of a horror movie, except Phil would most likely live through whatever torture the girls would put him through. Pain was throbbing through his right leg and Phil could tell that his ankle was definitely not okay.

"Don't worry, we'll take care of you," Carolyn grinned, grabbing Phil's armpits and lifting him up. His ankle failed to move. Blood was running down his shin from his knee- _why_ was he so clumsy- and Vivian grabbed his legs.

**\------------------**

"No, no!" Phil cried out as Casey kissed his neck, and it didn't feel like when Dan kissed his neck. It felt wrong in every way. Casey sucked on it and Phil knew there would be a very public bruise on his neck for a few days.

**\-----------------------**

"Dan! Mark!" Phil called out, and the two rushed out to see Phil essentially getting kidnapped.

"Get your fucking hands off my boyfriend!" Dan cried, rushing forward along with Mark. There was a struggle for power, two guys versus four girls, but the fight was won once Jac joined in.

Jac let out a mighty war cry that, in it of itself, scared off Carolyn. She then backhanded Vivian in the boob and straight-punched Casey, the two running off into the night. Then she glared at Abby, who sized her enemy up.

Jac snarled. Like, not like the way Phil snarled a few minutes ago. Like she was an actual cat. I'm not joking.

Abby ran off without another word.

"You okay, Phil?" Dan asked, laughing slightly and pulling Phil up to support him on his hip.

"Not particularly," Phil groaned, feeling self-conscious about both the hickey appearing on the side of his neck and his probably twisted ankle.

"Y'know, what you did was very brave," Dan said softly, tone suddenly serious. The two had a very honest relationship- and honestly, it was mostly because Phil didn't want Dan to experience anything that even sort of resembled his 'friendship' with the four girls, but it was very refreshing to know that neither of them would lie to the other to both of them. It also made compliments between them sound completely genuine.

"I did it for you," Phil answered in the same hushed tone, even though there was no real reason for it.

"You two are adorable," Mark said as he and Jac raced past, giggling. Phil glared at the offending couple and Dan nearly lost it, he was giggling so hard.

"You really are adorable," Dan said, still giggling.

"Even with blood running down my knee?" Phil raised an eyebrow at the younger, "And another girl's hickey on my neck? And a swollen ankle?"

"Even with blood running down your legs," Dan said, completely honest, "And even with another girl's hickey on your neck. Although, there's no way in Hell I'm going to look at that ankle now."

"I'm on it!" Mark said, grabbing a toy stethoscope and the first aid kit, "Dr. Iplier is here!"

"What," Phil asked, laughing at Mark's ridiculousness. By that time, they'd managed to get Phil onto the sofa of their flat.

Mark pried Phil's shoe off of his foot and stared at Phil's ankle for a while, stroking his chin in a mockery of deep thought.

"Yep, that's sprained," Mark said, grinning. He wrapped Phil's ankle and put an ice pack on top of it, getting out the stuff for Phil's knee. Phil hissed at the antiseptic and then seemed so relieved when all the blood had finally cleared.

"Thanks, Mark, I'll just be- heh- going now," Phil huffed, pushing himself onto his feet.

"We'll get you crutches later," Dan promised, leading Phil to their room. Well, the room that used to be Phil's but at this point had become a clusterfuck of blankets and clothing. Mark and Jac's room was the same way.

Phil sighed as he laid down on the twin bed and Dan nearly laid on top of him to fit on the bed. It was an awkward setup but it worked.

"You were quite brave," Dan said, "So how about I make that hickey unnoticeable?"

Phil couldn't agree more.

.o0o.

The girls had been scared off after that, and other than a few snide comments about Dan's dad, they left his friend group alone.

Dan was still so very anxious about meeting his dad in four days and honestly the girls weren't helping- although, Phil, Tyler, Mark and Jac were trying their hardest to remedy Dan's fear.

"I'm sure your dad'll be fine with us," Mark said, "I mean, look at us!"

At the moment, Tyler was painting his toenails and taking calls for his job, Phil was mixing up some sort of concoction (Dan would later come to respect the Ultimate Milkshake), Mark was in some sort of ridiculous getup and Jac was in a much less so outfit because they were one of those annoying active couples.

"Yeah, the perfect picture of friendship," Dan rolled his eyes. Mark almost came up with a scathing response to get back at him about his previous friend group, but he bit his tongue (honestly, they didn't need Dan to feel ostracized in another group of friends).

"Well, later, peasants. Me and Jac-y-poo are running away and joining the circus!" Mark said cheerfully, waving as he and Jac left the other three on their own.

So that's what was up with Mark's outfit.

"Oh my God this is delicious," Phil said as he took a drink of his milkshake, "I have to share this with people. Dan, come taste the Lion Milkshake- that's what I'm calling it!"

"Alright," Dan smirked, walking over to Phil and ignoring Phil's outstretched hand in favor of kissing him on the lips.

Damn, that milkshake was good.

"Keep it PG over there!" Tyler snapped, "Anyway, I apologize, ma'am, so, about that toaster oven-"

.o0o.

"Perfectly normal," Dan rolled his eyes as Troye arrived, dancing around and singing one of his songs. His voice really was nice. He and Tyler met for a rather un-PG kiss and Dan felt the need to shout Tyler's previous jibe back at them.

"Shut up. I don't get to see him, it's like he lives on a different continent!" Tyler said, "You and Philip over there are practically attached at the hip!"

Dan bit back his inner five-year-old that wanted to scream "We are not!"

He and Phil went to bed and Tyler and Troye combined the two couches to make a weird nest-thing and slept in that, and Mark and Jac would sleep in their own room.

.o0o.

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful, obviously the girls were planning something big.

Then Saturday passed without a single mean word from them at the coffee shop.

Dan figured they thought he'd come crawling back if things didn't work out with his dad.

.o0o.

The morning flew by. Dan was lazily making out with Phil at seven in the morning, then he was eating cereal, saying goodbye to Troye, then he was packing for the day, then he, Phil, Tyler, Jac, and Mark were boarding the train. Then the train rolled to a stop.

Then suddenly there the house was. A medium sized house with nice paneling and a good interior design. Dan sighed as he rang the doorbell.

"Dan! Sweetie!" Dan's mum engulfed him in a bone-crushing hug, "Where is she? Oh, is that her?"

"Um, about that, don't you think-"

"Daniel! Come in, come in," Dan's dad said hurriedly, ushering Dan's friends into the house, "Don't be rude. Help me get drinks for your friends."

"Okay, dad," Dan said, and soon he and his dad and his mum were wrapped up in making lemonade for everyone, and some cookies.

"Sorry guys, we got kinda caught up in what we were doing-"

"OH MY GOD YOU GUYS COOKIES," Tyler gasped, directing his attention to Dan again and shouting, "BABE."

"Tyler, they're just-" Dan felt like he was being interrupted too many times tonight, as everyone grabbed three cookies and sat back down, Jac and Mark feeding cookie pieces to each other like the grossly domestic couple they were.

"You two," Dan glared, sitting down next to Phil and leaning into his shoulder.

"So, is this the lucky lady?" Dan's mum asked, completely oblivious to the fact that Jac was currently so close to Mark that they might as well have been one person.

"Um, no," Dan grimaced, "About that- _I'm-bi-and-this-is-Phil-my-boyfriend_ ," Dan sputtered really fast, feeling his face heat up.

"Oh, sweetie, why hadn't you told us?" Dan's mum asked as Dan's father frowned slightly.

"Friend group. Manipulative assholes." Dan deadpanned, and Dan's mum suddenly looked kind of guilty.

"Hank, we really shouldn't've forced anything on him," Dan's mum said.

"I was only looking out for him," Dan's dad said, "How much do you guys earn every year?"

"Well, I work those 1-800 numbers so like $10 an hour?" Tyler shrugged.

"I mostly do YouTube stuff, so every view I get on a monetized video earns me up to a dollar," Mark said, "And Jac here works as a fitness trainer, the pay's nice there, like $23,000 a year."

Dan suddenly realized why Mark was so fit. That sneaky bastard.

"And... how many of you are actually straight?" Dan's dad asked suddenly. Jac was the only one who raised her hand, then she looked thoughtful for a second and put it back down. Tyler blushed and let out a little laugh, thinking about Troye.

"Serious?" Dan asked, looking at the only straight couple in the friend group.

"Hey, being in a different gender relationship doesn't invalidate my bisexuality or his pansexuality," Jac defended, cuddling in closer to Mark.

Dan shrugged, and did the same to Phil.

"Well, I can't see anything wrong with your friends, however, your partner," Dan's dad said, "I'm sorry, but I can't have you around this house unless you've got a woman on your arm. I can't have my reputation ruined."

"At least this time you're being honest." Dan didn't even flinch, although on the inside he was breaking down. On the inside, he was screaming at his dad and throwing punches, but on the outside, he was grabbing his jacket and his bag, and gesturing for his friends to follow.

"At least we got cookies out of it," Phil said, ever the ray of sunshine.

Dan couldn't quite see it that way. Phil wrapped an arm around Dan's waist and hugged him in tighter.

"Now we get to go back and listen to what Troye's recorded!" Tyler squealed, and Dan couldn't help but smile at that- Tyler looked so excited.

It was raining. Dan had just noticed that it was raining.

Apparently, it wasn't a lapse in judgement, as Tyler jolted up and Mark raised his jacket for Jac to duck under. Tyler ran around, feeling the rain on his skin.

To be fair, Dan considered joining him for a bit, but Phil's arms were warm and comforting.

The train ride back was peaceful.

Almost as if Dan hadn't had one of the worst weeks ever- and, honestly, Dan had made so many changes that it was like getting whiplash.

But maybe he wouldn't mind if the people sitting/sleeping next to him in the nearly-silent train compartment stayed by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> This literally took me a day to write I feel proud of myself.


End file.
